Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
