Umm I'm too high to move.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize