Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
