I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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