Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
