Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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