this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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