so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
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