yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Randomize
