i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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