i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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