those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
