So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
