So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Girls should come with a carfax report
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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