have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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