I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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