You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
