I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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