What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
kristin has been a bad kristin
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Randomize
