the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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