you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
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