Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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