If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
