People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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