what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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