was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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