I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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