so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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