Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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