He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
