So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
