I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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