She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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