I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
