I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
