If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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