I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
