god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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