Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
