Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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