Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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