The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize