I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
