Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
