his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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