Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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