I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Randomize
