I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Text me some of your sweat
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
