you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
