TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
