The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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