i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
