I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
