The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
