I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize