did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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