so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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