The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
