like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
