lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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