Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
