I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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