i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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