Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
