sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Randomize
