Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize